You think you’ve covered every imaginable topic in your sales meetings.

You’ve praised, criticized and humored your troops, sometimes in the same run-on sentence.

You’ve heard a litany of excuses from underachievers and from the “undead,” the perennially under-quota zombies.

“It’s tough out there!” they lament.

“Yeah, you should try getting back into the field and you’ll see!”

“The competition is eating our lunch!”

“Our prices are too high!”

And then the ultimate challenge:

“This new product (or service) simply can’t be sold!”

“Our clients don’t need it. Why, it’s like selling ice to Eskimos!”

Wait a minute. You can handle that one.

It has taken millenia to come true, but suddenly the Eskimos will NEED ICE, you think, especially if global warming accelerates as scientists are predicting it will.

The polar ice caps are melting rapidly. Greenland’s vast ice sheets are slipping into the sea. Suddenly, the shipping fleets of maritime nations are putting in bids to sail through Arctic waters in summertime, because formerly frozen routes are thawing.

How long will it be before Eskimos are sipping tropical umbrella drinks and barbecuing in their boats?

Sales managers everywhere take note: Every weak excuse of your underperformers can be countered.

YOU CAN SELL ICE TO ESKIMOS!

Progress is being made in every area that we once thought was foreclosed to us and to our creativity and resourcefulness.

Ah, but what about selling “Coals to Newcastle?”

Don’t worry, that’s next. Given the developing world’s hunger for the dirtiest fuels imaginable, they’ll probably run out of their local stocks in the next few years and become a nice market for that commodity, as well.